Ministry Leaders
Common Excuses for Not Discipling Donors
Ministry leaders and fund-raisers are in a unique position to interact with their donors at a very personal level. They walk alongside them through the complexities of giving decisions. And they are, after all, full-time Christian 'ministers.' So why do so few ministry leaders have real discipling relationships with their givers? Here are some common ministry leader objections and our answers to them.
Theological Reasons
Pragmatic Reasons
Relational Reasons
Educational Reasons
Theological Reasons
1. If you really have faith, fund-raising is not necessary at all.
This objection is based on a misunderstanding of the nature of Christian faith. It is not the case that faith in God’s provision excludes fund-raising. Although experience has shown that the Lord often does provide miraculously for Christian ministries, without their having raised the funds, the normal pattern is for ministries to raise money by asking fellow believers to give. This pattern of fund-raising is established in the Bible itself with the biblical fund-raising examples of Moses (Exodus 25:1), King David (1 Chronicles 29:1-9), and the apostle Paul (2 Corinthians 8-9). There are some notable exceptions to this rule in church history, including George Mueller’s orphanages and Francis Schaeffer’s L’Abri Fellowship, which are commendable for the faith they demonstrated. But faith in God’s provision certainly does not exclude asking fellow believers to give, for in fact God’s most regular means of providing for ministry is precisely through the generosity of His people (2 Corinthians 9:11).
2. “Discipling givers” is an interesting idea, but it is not my biblical responsibility.
On the contrary, discipling givers is a biblical responsibility of ministry fund-raisers. Of course, ministry reps do not have the same responsibility for their donors that the donors have for themselves, nor are they in a position of spiritual authority over them, as a pastor or elder in the church would be. But there is a sense in which all Christians are mutually responsible for each other’s spiritual progress (Galatians 6:2), and fund-raisers are in a special position to help other Christians exercise biblical generosity. Ministry reps have something that givers need: opportunities to grow in grace by giving to God’s kingdom (Philippians 4:17). Therefore they can and should present giving opportunities in such a way as to invite givers to grow in their own discipleship. The ministry leader whose only concern is to collect the dollars needed to meet this year’s budget deprives his givers of the opportunity to grow in generosity. Biblically speaking, it is one of the unique functions of fund-raisers in the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12) to provide chances for others to give to the Lord.
Pragmatic Reasons
1. You can’t be both a fund-raiser and a friend; the two are mutually exclusive.
It does feel that way sometimes, but it is really not the case. We may never eliminate the tension between friendship and fund-raising, but we can learn to deal with it in a faithful way. The tension between the desire for relationship and the pressure to bring back a check is enormous. To say that you are just in it for the money is hardhearted, but to say that you are just in it for the friendships is kidding yourself. Both are true, and both are proper attitudes if they are well balanced. But how to balance them? Every ministry development team should meet together regularly for accountability on this issue (Galatians 6:2). Ask one another: “What are our motives? ... Are we treating our donors as people, not just revenue sources? ... Are we cultivating real friendships, while still being honest and forthright about our fund-raising goals?” While there is no formulaic answer to this question, probably most fund-raisers tend to err on the side of going for the money. They alienate donors because they are relentlessly pressing the “big vision.” Christian fund-raisers should take special care not to get carried away by the American assumption that bigger is always better. In short, we should be both sincere in our relationships and forthright about our find-raising goals, taking special care to be a genuine friend. In the end, the two are not mutually exclusive.
2. Fund-raising is dirty work, plain and simple. There is no such thing as a “ministry” of fund-raising.
No, the idea that fund-raising is mere dirty work or a necessary evil usually comes from a misunderstanding of the biblical view of money. Money itself is not dirty, although our attitudes toward it often are (2 Timothy 6:10). So those who work with money are no less noble than anyone else. On the contrary, responsible handling of money is singled out for high praise by the Lord Jesus (Matthew 25:14-30). So it is not the case that fund-raisers do the “dirty” work, while preachers, teachers, counselors and social workers do the “real” work of ministry. In the Bible the Lord Himself commands certain fund-raising projects (Exodus 25:1). In addition, we have numerous biblical examples of the prophets and apostles engaged in fund-raising. Biblically speaking, fund-raising is a necessary good, not a necessary evil. In fact, it is possible for every Christian fund-raiser to make his fund-raising a ministry, after the example of the apostle Paul. In Philippians 4:17, where Paul is thanking one of his supporting churches for their financial gifts, he writes, “Not that I am looking for a gift, but I am looking for what may be credited to your account.” Strikingly, Paul is looking out for his donors’ best interest rather than his own. Happily, most of the time giving to the ministry is in both their best interests. But Paul’s main purpose is to minister to his donors, not to receive from them. And we can do the same in our fund-raising work. In short, there is such a thing as a ministry of fund-raising.
3. I am competing for limited donor dollars. My job is to sell my ministry to donors, not to disciple them.
We believe this perspective misses the uniqueness of Christian fund-raising. While it can be argued that secular fund-raisers are competitors in a philanthropic free market, Christian fund-raising should be manifestly different. According to Scripture, Christians are one body (the church) gathered around one leader (Jesus Christ) following one purpose (the kingdom of God) (Ephesians 4:3-6). This applies to ministry fund-raisers just as much as it does to all other Christians. The Christian church is a body, not a free market. We serve one common interest, not many competing interests. “Our” donors belong to the Lord alone, not to us or our ministries. But sadly, in spite of these biblical truths, the Christian fund-raising industry is sometimes characterized by a spirit of competition, where different ministries vie for a limited supply of donor dollars. Why is this? It has been wisely said that every fund-raiser has either an abundance mentality or a scarcity mentality. Those who have an abundance mentality believe that God is able to provide more than enough money for all His ministries; we simply have to ask for it. But those who have a scarcity mentality believe that there is only a limited amount of money out there; we have to beat the other guys to it. The former view is the biblical one, but the latter is a much more natural way of thinking for us. The biblical truth is that ministry fund-raisers are co-laborers, not competitors (1 Corinthians 1:10-13), but it takes great faith to believe this.
4. I don’t stand to gain anything from discipling my givers.
It may seem this way, but in fact it is not so. Although the point of discipling givers is to pursue their benefit rather than one’s own (Philippians 2:3), there are many benefits involved for both the fund-raiser and the ministry. The first benefit is faithfulness to the Lord. When we disciple our givers, whatever anyone else thinks of it, the Lord Himself is pleased, and this is the most important thing (Matthew 25:21). The second benefit is better relationships with donors. Obviously, taking an interest in someone for more than their money tends to build a better relationship. The discipler/fund-raiser will find that he has longer-lasting and more genuine friendships with his donors (1 Thessalonians 2:8). The third benefit is increased long-term giving. Understandably, if donors feel genuinely cared for, then they will tend to give more and stay with the ministry longer. So there is a pragmatic benefit as well. Of course, to jump straight to this outcome is to short-circuit the whole process. But ministry leaders who are willing to do the hard work of discipling their givers will find that they stand to gain a great deal.
5. I am a ministry executive. Fund-raising is the development office’s job, not mine.
This objection doesn’t hold up in practice. The fact is that all ministry leaders must do some fund-raising, even if the development office bears most of the responsibility. It is sometimes said that in the past ministry executives were involved more in running the ministry and less in raising funds, but this claim is historically questionable. Whatever the case, today it is common, even expected, for ministry presidents and vice presidents to spend large amounts of time fund-raising with current and prospective donors. Whether they like it or not, the fact is that ministry leaders (especially the president or CEO) are the public face of a ministry. Therefore, every ministry leader will have to do some amount of fund-raising. The important thing, then, is that a ministry leader and his development office have a healthy Christian working relationship (1 Corinthians 1:10). The ministry leader should try to shoulder some of the fund-raising responsibility, especially at public events, while the development staff should try to “protect” the ministry leader’s time as much as reasonably possible. In short, being an executive is reason for, not against, one’s participation in fund-raising.
Relational Reasons
1. I don’t have close enough relationships with my donors to disciple them.
This is a fair objection. Happily, though, you don’t have to wait for closer relationships to start discipling. Rather, the act of discipling itself builds those relationships. There are a number of ways to get started. The main idea is to “hang out” with donors as real people, not just revenue sources (Luke 6:31). First, determine where you can hang out with donors. Many donors are very busy businesspeople, so that trying to meet with them during the business day may not be the best idea. The best chances for real interaction may be in a less formal setting: at home, on the golf course, or elsewhere. Second, cultivate in your own life some of the interests that your donors share. Just as you would do for a friend or spouse, learn what they enjoy doing, and take up the same hobbies yourself. This shows that you care and gives you a good platform for informal meetings. You might take up golf, fly-fishing, cycling or bird-watching; or subscribe to Forbes, Fortune or The Wall Street Journal. These sorts of things are the “tools of the trade” in the development profession. Third, be a convener and facilitator. Donors, just like everyone else, like to gather with their peers and to talk about their interests. The fund-raiser need not be the most eloquent or charismatic person in a crowd. He should just make a priority of gathering people together and facilitating good conversation. Fund-raisers who take these few steps will be off to a good start in building more substantial relationships with donors, and will have begun doing genuine discipleship.
2. Donors will suspect that I am just out for their money.
Granted, some donors may be suspicious at first, but that is not the end of the matter. In fact, donor response varies. Some donors have enough experience with ministries that they do not feel at all intimidated or threatened by a solicitation. But probably a majority of donors have at least some degree of suspicion or defensiveness toward fund-raisers—and understandably so. Many wealthy people have been burned, emotionally or financially, by people who took advantage of them. But there are several things ministry reps can do to work against this negative perception: (1) Make sure that the perception is mistaken. If people get the impression that we are out for their money, there is at least a chance that they are right. We fund-raisers should test our own motives to see if there is greed there that we were not aware of (1 Thessalonians 2:3-5). (2) Emphasize ministry over money. Even if a fund-raiser is not in fact greedy, he can easily give that impression by talking about money too much. Simply steering the conversation to ministry goals instead of dollars can go a long way. Of course, one must get to the bottom line eventually, but the key is to keep the ministry itself the main thing. (3) Practice impeccable financial accountability. All Christian ministries should have strict internal and external controls in place, and observe them meticulously. Not only does this keep us honest, but it also allows us to silence accusations when they come. (4) Be a generous giver yourself. There are few things as disarming as a fund-raiser who is himself a giver. Of course, we should give for the Lord’s approval, not for others to see (Matthew 6:1-4). But all boasting aside, generosity on the fund-raiser’s part is a mark of genuineness, which people respect. Donor suspicion may be the norm, but every ministry can take steps to ensure that givers feel loved and not used.
3. Givers would only rebuff my attempts to discuss their giving, so why even try?
This objection underestimates both donors’ interest and the Lord’s power to motivate them. Granted, givers may be suspicious of fund-raisers’ intentions, at least initially. It has been said that givers have an inner “radar” for detecting greed. They have learned by experience to tell when someone is after their money. And as a result, they tend to be understandably wary of fund-raisers. We should expect to encounter some resistance when we first broach the subject. But if a fund-raiser is able over time to communicate genuine interest in donors’ spiritual growth (Philippians 4:17), then the donors will feel safe to open up and discuss their giving. The fund-raiser has to do the hard work of initiating, being rejected, coming back again, and making clear through this process that he is not just after their money. Admittedly, this process is not easy, but it is certainly worthwhile—for the fund-raiser, the donor, the ministry and the kingdom (Galatians 6:9). Trying is a risky business, but not trying is a guaranteed way to fail.
4. I have tried discipling my donors, but they don’t return my phone calls or show up at fund-raising events. It’s not worth the effort.
Feeling this way is understandable, but it is not a reason to give up. The hard truth is that disappointment comes with the territory. Donors often cancel on you at the last minute. You may have been working with a donor for years, and he will fail to show up at an event, and not even call. You may spend thousands of dollars missing and rebooking flights. But when these things happen, as they inevitably will, the question to ask oneself is not: Am I a failure as a fund-raiser? The question is: Am I willing to live with the disappointments? Only a very small fraction of these disappointments result from fund-raiser error. Most are just standard occupational hazards to which even the best and most seasoned fund-raisers are subject. The fact is that fund-raising, while an awesome privilege, is just plain hard work. All fund-raisers will experience at least some feelings of deep anxiety and insecurity. But these feelings should drive us to our knees in prayer to God for perseverance (Galatians 6:9), not to give up on the whole process.
Educational Reasons
1. I don’t understand what it means to disciple givers.
We can explain. To disciple a giver is to invite a person to give not just for the sake of the ministry’s need but for the sake of the giver’s own spiritual growth. In general, to disciple someone is to help that person become a more mature follower of the Lord Jesus (Matthew 28:19-20). We can disciple people in many areas of the Christian life, including marriage, family, spiritual disciplines—even giving (2 Corinthians 8:7). The bottom line in discipling is a driving concern for the other person’s spiritual well-being. Ministry leaders disciple their givers when they move past a concern for bringing in the needed dollars into a genuine interest in the giver’s spiritual health. Once we understand what it means, we can get busy doing it with our donors.
2. I wouldn’t know how to incorporate discipleship into my fund-raising.
This is a fair objection, and we can help. There are a number of concrete steps any fund-raiser can take to make donor discipleship happen: (1) Take an interest in the giver as a person. This may sound obvious, but in fact it can be hard work. Try to step outside of your fund-raiser role and get to know the person as a friend (1 Thessalonians 2:8). (2) Talk about things other than your ministry needs. People talk about what they care about. What does your talk indicate that you care about? Try asking questions instead of making pitches. (3) Bring the Bible and prayer into your meetings. We should certainly not be spiritually pretentious, but neither should we shy away from chances to hear from God or speak to Him in our work with donors. (4) Be bold in challenging givers to give more (2 Corinthians 8:8). “Fund-raisers” have to be cautious and political. But “disciplers” can be bold because their concern is not for their “take” but, rather, for the giver’s growth. Be willing to push your givers, even when (perhaps especially when) you do not stand to benefit from their generosity. These few steps will help you begin to incorporate discipleship into your fund-raising.
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